This one’s for you, Jessica!

Do you have any sayings that you’ve said to your kids as they were growing up that you can honestly claim as your own? The other night Nick and I were talking to Jessica about her upcoming plans, and Nick brought up this one:  “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.” (For the record, he is her step-dad, so technically he didn’t have anything to do with bringing her into this world.) I think perhaps he was referring to Jessica’s messy room (which we’ve threatened to post pictures of on facebook) anyway I can’t really remember in what context it was said. But Nick gave full credit to Bill Cosby for saying it and my response was “now she’s going to know it’s not one of my original sayings!” And it got me to thinking about some that are.

“Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.” “When I was your age, I walked twelve miles to school.” “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”* We’ve all heard them.

Well, I do have a couple that I can honestly claim as my own. One I used repeatedly when I was still carting my kids around everywhere (before they got their driver’s licenses):

“I’m just going to slow down and you can jump out.”

This was usually said on mornings that I was taking them to school, we were running late, and I still had my jammies on. I remember doing an awful lot of kid hauling during that time of my life and I honestly felt like a taxi service at times!!!

The one that I’m quite famous for (in my own little twisted reality) is:

“If you don’t wake up in the morning, it’s because I held a pillow over your head while you were sleeping.”

This was said REPEATEDLY throughout their childhood (I’m thinking Jessica mostly) and yes, perhaps I did cause some minor anxiety in my children because of it but it was usually said when they were misbehaving, and well…it was deserving in my book.

Before you call Child Protective Services on me…I never actually followed through on either of these suggestions/threats with my kids, besides I’m pretty sure the statute of limitations has run out.

* Some thoughts on “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” As I was writing this entry, this saying popped into my head. Barbie, my dear-departed sister-in-law, who I wrote about in my last entry, used to say this to me when she would hear me use a swear word. Her way of gently correcting me. Miss her.

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